Do you imagine a world without electronic literacy? I think electronic literacy has changed the world because of its characteristics and possibilities. For this reason I consider electronic literacy has been very important in my life. Since I started to use electronic devices like computers, I optimized my time at doing homework, and at learning a second language. But I did not born knowing about electronic literacy, it was a long process for me to get involved in that.
I still remember the first computer I had, I was very excited and I used it to listen to music and to do homework. Of course I did not had internet; however, it was very funny for me to spend time working on my old computer. Months later, a cybercafé opened near my house, so I got interested in surfing the web. I started chatting with people from different countries, finding some information on goggle, and downloading media (images, music, and videos) but it was very expensive to spend time there. I think it was because I did not have a lot of money.
Nowadays I have internet, and it has been very useful in my career. I have used many resources like Words processors, spreadsheets, and slide show designers when I present a topic or just to do homework. In addition I use blogs and forums to do some research about new topics and some aspects of the English language that I do not understand. For these reasons I think electronic literacy is very important nowadays for my education.
I hope to learn more about electronic tools because the technology evolves day by day. I imagine in my future applying new technologies and software to teach the English language. I think it will help me to teach a class with fun. It would be very funny to teach by webcam, projecting some videos and play games based con special software. Also I would like to collect some useful electronic books to keep in them in a virtual library. Although now I have not a large collection of electronic material, I know I will have it in a future.
There are many characteristics of electronic literacy that makes it important. Internet, word processors, and slideshows, are some important tools that I have used to improve my development in my career. Personally I see it like a world of possibilities, so I really like electronic literacy, because it has been very important in my life, and I am sure it will be important in the future.
I still remember the first computer I had, I was very excited and I used it to listen to music and to do homework. Of course I did not had internet; however, it was very funny for me to spend time working on my old computer. Months later, a cybercafé opened near my house, so I got interested in surfing the web. I started chatting with people from different countries, finding some information on goggle, and downloading media (images, music, and videos) but it was very expensive to spend time there. I think it was because I did not have a lot of money.
Nowadays I have internet, and it has been very useful in my career. I have used many resources like Words processors, spreadsheets, and slide show designers when I present a topic or just to do homework. In addition I use blogs and forums to do some research about new topics and some aspects of the English language that I do not understand. For these reasons I think electronic literacy is very important nowadays for my education.
I hope to learn more about electronic tools because the technology evolves day by day. I imagine in my future applying new technologies and software to teach the English language. I think it will help me to teach a class with fun. It would be very funny to teach by webcam, projecting some videos and play games based con special software. Also I would like to collect some useful electronic books to keep in them in a virtual library. Although now I have not a large collection of electronic material, I know I will have it in a future.
There are many characteristics of electronic literacy that makes it important. Internet, word processors, and slideshows, are some important tools that I have used to improve my development in my career. Personally I see it like a world of possibilities, so I really like electronic literacy, because it has been very important in my life, and I am sure it will be important in the future.
1- …consider THAT electronic literacy…/ Since I started USING electronic devices/ doing homework, and at learning a second language MAYBE YOU DON’T NEED THAT COMMA HERE / But I WAS NOT BORN knowing / You introduce your thesis with a question, which is attractive, you just need to specify what your essay is going to be about because it looks like you are only giving information about your experience.
ResponderEliminar2- …I had, I was very… I THINK THE COMMA IS GOOD BUT PROBABLY A PERIOD WILL WORK AS WELL / Of course (there is no reason to assume this because you haven’t talked about time) I did not HAVE internet / finding (or searching? /GOOGLE /…goggle, and downloading […] videos), but it was… MAYBE THE COMMA AFTER GOOGLE CAN BE TRANSFERRED AFTER THE PARENTHESES.
3- Fine. Little bit short but it is clear.
4- I imagine in (my future) applying new… MAYBE YOU CAN CHANGE THE TIME CLAUSE AT THE BEGINNING OR AT THE END OF THE SENTENCE / I think it will help me to teach a class with fun. (YOU CAN REPHRASE THIS SENTENCE, maybe with “ it will help me add some fun to my teaching” (for example) /It would be very funny to teach by webcam, projecting some videos and play games based ON special software. (TRY TO KEEP THE SAME FORM IN THE VERBS “to teach, to project, to play) /… books to keep (in?) them in… / ALTHOUGH I DO NOT HAVE a large collection of electronic material NOW, I know I will…
5- There are many characteristics of electronic literacy that MAKE it important. (with this idea here, it seems like you are going to talk about them)/ …very important in my life, and I am sure it will be important in the future. (you either add IN MY PRESENT LIFE or in MY FUTURE or both).
IN GENERAL: You kept a very good order in your ideas. Your information was clear and specific. Just watch when a comma is really needed or not. Some cohesion problems but your coherence is okay. Very interesting. Good job.
Hi. In general your essay is well organized and your ideas are clear enough. However, in the introduction I consider your thesis statement is "I think electronic literacy has changed the world because of its characteristics and possibilities". Therefore, your essay would have to be about these. Change the thesis statement then.
ResponderEliminarI believe Margarita’s feedback is great. I would just add the following mistakes:
1. (Second paragraph)...it was very FUNNY for me to spend time...
correction: fun
2. (Third paragraph) ..and it has been very useful in my CAREER. I have used many resources like WORDS processors, spreadsheets, and slide show designers…
correction: major, word
3. (Third paragraph) …FOR THESE REASONS I think electronic literacy is very important nowadays for my education…
Correction: Which reasons?
4. (Fourth paragraph) …because THE technology evolves day by day…
Correction: eliminate article
Good job!